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Eventually, I got tired of fearing my “coming out” moment; I wanted to be up front with people from the beginning.
I graduated from Nursing School and now going out into the real world. I've been bald from an autoimmune condition called alopecia areata for most of my dating career.The condition causes your immune system to mistake your hair follicles for foreign bacteria, halting the normal hair growth cycle and resulting in bald patches (alopecia areata), the loss of all scalp hair (alopecia totalis), or the complete loss of all body hair (alopecia universalis).(I've heard of women with alopecia who sleep with their wigs on because they're terrified of what their significant others will think.And the only time I did tell someone I was dating that I had alopecia, he expressed his sympathies before promptly sleeping with somebody else.) But more than rejection, I feared the notion that people would find it impossible to separate my physical state from who I was as a person.Dating, and at times existence, is a terrifying prospect for bald women because of the negative portrayals of hairless women to which we've all been conditioned. On the flipside, bald men can occupy positions of great power, influence and even be considered attractive, as opposed to frightening and alien.Society dictates that baldness in women be reduced to a form of demoralising punishment, sacrifice (shave for a cure, where alongside fund-raising we show solidarity and empathy for those experiencing a diminished sense of self following hair loss), a devastating side-effect of cancer treatments, or a sign of ultimate evil (Satan in is played by a bald, eyebrowless woman because that's apparently the most sinister and repugnant image known to mankind. When your dateability is entwined with your physical appearance, being a bald woman can make you feel like you don't have options.Being bald myself, I was always self-conscious of what the opposite sex would think.It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I was approached by a woman who told me she found bald men really sexy and was a massive turn on.What if his hand, or worse, brushes off both my eyebrows?If my wig falls off do I explain myself or feign surprise?