Dating a girl at a different college
We're all trying so hard not to care, and nobody's benefiting.
Who Has The When it comes to college dating today, guys seem to be in a position of power, calling the shots on sex and romance — partly because they're especially good at playing the who-ever-cares-less game and partly because of the male-dominated places women go to meet straight guys on campus.
I could've told Nate that I thought we had a plan..I was hurt when he ditched me..I was annoyed when he decided to pull away after wrongly assuming I'd wanted to make him my boyfriend. Instead, we ignored each other, knowing that whoever cares less wins.
As my guy friend Parker, 22, explains, "I think people in college are embarrassed to want to be in a relationship, as though wanting commitment makes them some regressive '50s Stepford person.
The first rule of what he calls Guyland's culture of silence is that "you can express no fears, no doubts, no vulnerabilities." Sure, feminism appears to be all the rage on campus, but many self-identified feminists — myself included — equate liberation with the freedom to act "masculine" (not being oversensitive or appearing thin-skinned).In theory, hookup culture empowers millennial women with the time and space to focus on our ambitious goals while still giving us the benefit of sexual experience, right? As Maddie, my 22-year-old friend from Harvard (who, FYI, graduated with highest honors and is now at Yale Law School), puts it: "The 'I don't have time for dating' argument is bullshit.As someone who has done both the dating and the casual-sex thing, hookups are much more draining of my emotional faculties..actually, my time."Sure, many women enjoy casual sex — and that's a valuable thing to point out given how old-fashioned society's attitudes on romance can still be.Rosin argues that hookup culture marks the empowerment of career-minded college women.It does seem that, now more than ever, women are ruling the school.And when someone does want a relationship, they downplay it.This leads to awkward, sub-text-laden conversations, of which I've been on both sides."The great irony is that no one seems to enjoy playing the whoever-cares-less-wins game.While five female final clubs also exist, they were founded in the 1990s or later, and most of them don't have the impressive real estate or alumni funds the male clubs do.Final clubs give their exclusive list of male members a sweet pad where they can hang out, study, smoke cigars, eat prosciutto and melon after class, and pregame with top-shelf liquor.Between 20, New York University sociologist Paula England, Ph D, conducted an online survey in which she compiled data from more than 20,000 students at 21 colleges and universities throughout the United States.Her data showed that 61 percent of men hoped a hookup would turn into something more and 68 percent of women hoped for more — almost the same!