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First let’s be clear with the fact that you do love your boyfriend or girlfriend, and that may exactly be the reason why you are confused. It has happened and is happening to many other people just like you, and it is a commitment problem.
You almost freaked out because you are all of a sudden attracted to someone else, and you started asking yourself: what’s wrong with me? Chances are you will get over your crush pretty soon, though for some people it might be a little bit tough and you might want to run through the following exercises to figure things out: .
You should date with a reasonable level of trust as a basis and your interactions serve as a series of checks and balances.But being able to do that, (even if you screw up everything else in your life), means that you are a strong and respectful human being. Ivy League grad, originally from China, currently working in finance in NYC.Writing for young professionals, women and internationals living abroad about everyday life, and what we can learn from things and people around us.Advice not just with experience, but with character.25 things Asset Management Best of the year Books business Career career advice Celebrity China College Communication Dating East and West Finance happiness Internship Interview Investment Management Job Hunting Leadership Life Lifestyle Love management Mistake Movies Music Networking News New York Office politics Parenting People Personal Persuasion politics Relationship Resume Self-Improvement Story Time Management Travel TV Show Women work relationships Yale 中文 励志 情感© 2010 deniseyezi and anadviceaday.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and owner is strictly prohibited.And finally, understand that getting attracted to other people is easy and it happens probably very often to some people; cheating is also easy because it does not require much thinking or discipline.On the other hand, being loyal and genuine is difficult and challenging and requires a lot of character and much discipline.You can be attracted to many people for different reasons, and a lot of the attractions may be very strong at the beginning.The problem about attraction is though: you started to have strong feelings for someone even without knowing him/her at all, which means the strong feelings though you probably need to be attracted to someone at first sight to be able to fall in love later. When you can finally say “I love you” to someone, it should represent at least your willingness to fully commit (there is no such thing as partially commit). When you’ve been with someone for too long, you started taking things for granted and become less appreciative.If you love and trust blindly and get sucked into being moved along at high speed, you will be blind in the relationship when you actually have a responsibility to yourself to have your eyes open. Slowing down and actually getting to know each other at a healthier pace creates a connection.I’ll be honest with you – while there are anomalies where people have had a whirlwind romance that progressed, in the overwhelming majority of cases, when someone wants to be intense immediately or very quickly and fast-forwards you through the relationship, it is a red flag.