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He tracked married and unmarried straight and gay couples to peek at what time does to partnerships, and it looks as though the chances for breakup come way down after a few years.
By five years in, most couples only had a 20 percent breakup rate, and by 10, they come down even more.
Psychologist Nicole Martinez, who is the author of eight books, including The Reality of Relationships , tells Bustle that there are certain times of year that are breakup-prone.
According to a study by Hephzibah Asolu, we most often split around Valentine’s day, in the spring, on April fool’s day (what?!
“Even if their own parents' marriage is intact, they're surrounded by peers whose parents — and they themselves — are having relationship disasters.” This can make it hard to be together for a long time.
“Lacking skills, partners wind up fighting and shutting down,” Tessina adds.
“The re-activation occurs between one and three years.” At this point, you see your partner for who they are.“This point is really critical because you will definitely see this person’s character,” she says.“Either you will be really attracted to them or exceptionally turned off, By this point, they are so invested they are spending the rest of the year trying to hope away your flaws.” Oh, dear.“Researchers in London discovered that when you fall in love, certain parts of your brain deactivate,” Dawn Maslar, aka “the Love Biologist,” tells Bustle. Or just something that has to happen, if the relationship isn't destined for forever?Sociologist Michael Rosenfeld tracked more than 3,000 people since 2009 to find out what happens to relationships over time.“The first year is when you and your partner are getting to know each other's personalities and determining whether you see a future with them or not.” Naturally, there will be some push and pull here.“In the beginning, relationships are like a trial run and sometimes they just don't work out,” she said.“We recently interviewed relationship expert Neil Strauss, who says that there are three stages to the first year of a relationship: projection, disillusionment, and a power struggle.” In the beginning, things are perhaps a bit rosy than they really are.“For instance, we know that around the three-to-four-month mark, we know that the representative [image] typically fades away.” By then, you really start seeing your partner.“Between the five-to-six-month mark, people are typically really trying to decipher their feelings, and by the seventh-to-ninth-month mark, they are trying to determine if they really want to be with you.”Coming up on a year, stuff gets real.“A relationship begins with projection, which means you don't see who the other person is, just who you want them to be,” she says.“The next stage is disillusionment, where you see who they really are and not your fantasy, which is why people break up in the three-to-nine-month window.”And then, of course, there’s the final stage: “There's a power struggle or conflict,” she says.