Power and control in dating relationships face to face speed dating bowling green kentucky
Controlling abusers use tactics to exert power and control over their victims.The tactics themselves are psychologically and sometimes physically abusive.Traumatic bonding can occur between the abuser and victim as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change and a climate of fear.Isolation, gaslighting, mind games and divide and rule are other strategies that are often used.Controlling abusers use multiple tactics to exert power and control over their partners.According to Jill Cory and Karen Mc Andless-Davis, authors of When Love Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships: Each of the tactics within the power and control wheel are used to "maintain power and control in the relationship.This wheel represents a snapshot of what a violent teen dating relationship looks like.
Understanding these dynamics are useful to anyone trying to extricate from the controlling behavior of another person, and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.This weakens and isolates them, making it easier for the narcissist to manipulate and dominate. The model is used in many batterer intervention programs, and is known as the Duluth model.Often the abusers are initially attentive, charming and loving, gaining the trust of the individual that will ultimately become the victim, also known as the survivor.In especially severe cases, even if the victim gives in and accedes to the perpetrator's initial demands, the perpetrator may continue the silent treatment so as to deny the victim feedback indicating that those demands have been satisfied.The silent treatment thereby enables its perpetrator to cause hurt, obtain ongoing attention in the form of repeated attempts by the victim to restore dialogue, maintain a position of power through creating uncertainty over how long the verbal silence and associated impossibility of resolution will last, and derive the satisfaction that the perpetrator associates with each of these consequences.The outer rim of the wheel is physical violence as violent acts or the threat of violent acts are what abusers use to get and keep their power and control over their dating partners.Here is an easily printable version of the Power and Control Wheel.No matter what tactics your partner uses, the effect is to control and intimidate you or to influence you to feel that you do not have an equal voice in the relationship." A tool for exerting control and power is the use of threats and coercion.The victim may be subject to threats that they will be left, hurt, or reported to welfare.The abuser may threaten that they will commit suicide.They may also coerce them to perform illegal actions or to drop charges that they may have against their abuser.